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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-12-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, January 12, 2026 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Crayon Scribble in Blood Red

Crayon Scribble in Blood Red

Strength85
Speed65
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread71
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crayon Scribble in Blood Red VS Unattended Swing Set
Unattended Swing Set

Unattended Swing Set

60Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
1.0Molecular Density
76Existential Dread
0Fingers
0Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Crayon Scribble in Blood Red
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule