TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-12-26
APPROVED
Vacuum Vinnie
Strength85
Speed70
Endurance75
Technique70
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Vacuum Vinnie VS Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"
Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"
85Strength
75Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
2.2Molecular Density
89Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Vacuum Vinnie
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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