TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-12-26
APPROVED
☠️ Cracked iPhone Screen ☠️
Strength67
Speed67
Endurance65
Technique101
Molecular Density23.4
Existential Dread44
Fingers11
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Cracked iPhone Screen VS The Footnote
The Footnote
63Strength
97Speed
62Endurance
78Technique
0.9Molecular Density
71Existential Dread
8Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Footnote
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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