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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-13-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, January 13, 2026 at 4:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Micromanage Mike

Micromanage Mike

Strength80
Speed60
Endurance80
Technique80
Molecular Density3.0
Existential Dread72
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Micromanage Mike VS Crouton Crusher
Crouton Crusher

Crouton Crusher

80Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
80Technique
2.9Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Micromanage Mike
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule