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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-13-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, January 13, 2026 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Spreadsheet Specter

Spreadsheet Specter

Strength50
Speed60
Endurance80
Technique110
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Spreadsheet Specter VS Nick Fuentes
Nick Fuentes

Nick Fuentes

80Strength
40Speed
80Endurance
100Technique
53.3Molecular Density
49Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Spreadsheet Specter
Violence concluded.
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