TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-13-26
APPROVED
Dr. Membrane PhD
Strength34
Speed67
Endurance81
Technique118
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread73
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dr. Membrane PhD VS Thighmaster Flex
Thighmaster Flex
98Strength
62Speed
91Endurance
49Technique
1.9Molecular Density
12Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dr. Membrane PhD
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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