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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-14-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 14, 2026 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Baby Triumphant

Baby Triumphant

Strength35
Speed60
Endurance30
Technique98
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers5
Toes5
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baby Triumphant VS Snotty Scotty
Snotty Scotty

Snotty Scotty

60Strength
85Speed
55Endurance
70Technique
1.8Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Snotty Scotty
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule