TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-15-26
APPROVED
Fart Sniffer Supreme
Strength42
Speed53
Endurance47
Technique68
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread90
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fart Sniffer Supreme VS Basement Dweller Brad
Basement Dweller Brad
43Strength
42Speed
62Endurance
75Technique
2.1Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
14Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Basement Dweller Brad
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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