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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-15-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 15, 2026 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Crystalized Entropy

Crystalized Entropy

Strength100
Speed21
Endurance106
Technique100
Molecular Density11.2
Existential Dread92
Fingers13
Toes13
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crystalized Entropy VS Bacon Windfall
Bacon Windfall

Bacon Windfall

88Strength
70Speed
82Endurance
78Technique
2.8Molecular Density
18Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
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