Captain Yawnpunch vs Jerkoff Sysadmin Manager

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🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED

02-07-26

APPROVED

📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, February 7, 2026 at 7:00 PM

⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE

Strength55

Speed38

Endurance88

Technique84

Molecular Density1.2

Existential Dread67

Fingers10

Toes10

TALE OF THE TAPE

Captain Yawnpunch VS Jerkoff Sysadmin Manager

30Strength

120Speed

120Endurance

30Technique

21.4Molecular Density

99Existential Dread

7Fingers

10Toes

Jerkoff Sysadmin Manager

Violence concluded.