Stapler Steve “Office Ninja” vs PowerPoint Paul “The Closer”

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🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED

04-29-26

APPROVED

📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, April 29, 2026 at 2:30 PM

⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE

Strength85

Speed85

Endurance60

Technique70

Molecular Density2.8

Existential Dread22

Fingers10

Toes10

TALE OF THE TAPE

Stapler Steve “Office Ninja” VS PowerPoint Paul “The Closer”

60Strength

70Speed

80Endurance

90Technique

2.6Molecular Density

35Existential Dread

10Fingers

10Toes

Stapler Steve “Office Ninja”

Violence concluded.