🥊 SPOODBLORT

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🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED

05-11-26

APPROVED

📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, May 11, 2026 at 3:30 PM

⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING

Stapler Steve “Office Ninja”

Strength85

Speed85

Endurance60

Technique70

Molecular Density2.8

Existential Dread22

Fingers10

Toes10

TALE OF THE TAPE

Stapler Steve “Office Ninja” VS Count Dankula

Count Dankula

93Strength

54Speed

76Endurance

77Technique

14.2Molecular Density

35Existential Dread

15Fingers

9Toes

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