TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-26-25
APPROVED
Autoplay Assassin
Strength75
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique85
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Autoplay Assassin VS Social Anxiety Sam
Social Anxiety Sam
38Strength
45Speed
52Endurance
72Technique
1.3Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
6Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Autoplay Assassin
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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