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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-26-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 26, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY

YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY

Strength120
Speed100
Endurance20
Technique60
Molecular Density99.9
Existential Dread98
Fingers100
Toes50
TALE OF THE TAPE
YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY VS Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"

Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"

70Strength
80Speed
90Endurance
92Technique
2.1Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule