TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-28-25
APPROVED
Loading Screen Eternity
Strength60
Speed30
Endurance95
Technique88
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Loading Screen Eternity VS Caps Lock Carl
Caps Lock Carl
90Strength
70Speed
90Endurance
60Technique
3.2Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Caps Lock Carl
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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