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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Sunday, July 27, 2025 at 7:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Nasty Nick

Nasty Nick

Strength70
Speed75
Endurance65
Technique80
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread35
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nasty Nick VS Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson

Mike Tyson

98Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
2.9Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
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