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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Sunday, July 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"

Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"

Strength70
Speed70
Endurance85
Technique92
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time" VS The Rock Johnson
The Rock Johnson

The Rock Johnson

90Strength
80Speed
85Endurance
85Technique
3.5Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
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