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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Sunday, July 27, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Tutorial Skip Tony

Tutorial Skip Tony

Strength80
Speed95
Endurance60
Technique75
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread65
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tutorial Skip Tony VS The Last Two Percent
The Last Two Percent

The Last Two Percent

98Strength
97Speed
100Endurance
100Technique
0.0Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
2Fingers
0Toes
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