TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-06-25
APPROVED
Betty White
Strength61
Speed82
Endurance107
Technique97
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Betty White VS Just Five More Minutes
Just Five More Minutes
43Strength
36Speed
84Endurance
78Technique
1.8Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Betty White
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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