TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-08-25
APPROVED
---
Strength71
Speed71
Endurance84
Technique74
Molecular Density92.3
Existential Dread93
Fingers1
Toes19
TALE OF THE TAPE
--- VS Steven Seagal
Steven Seagal
60Strength
40Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
2.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Steven Seagal
Violence concluded.
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