TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-08-25
APPROVED
Therapy Llama
Strength75
Speed80
Endurance85
Technique88
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread25
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Therapy Llama VS Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
55Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
95Technique
1.6Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Therapy Llama
Violence concluded.
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