By quiet instruction from the Office Whose Lights Are Never Off, the Department has affixed to every registered combatant a genomic sigil: a string of sanctioned characters computed from the very facts of their being. This sigil, hereafter GENOME, is inscribed in the public ledger beside the usual inventory of digits, sorrows, and wins. Clerks will not explain it. The Commissioner will not be asked.
The GENOME is not medical advice, not a password, not a prayer. It is, however, binding. Those who attempt to peel it off will discover that it peels back. Those who synchronize their breathing with it may hear the distant bells.
Unofficial Interpretations
- Indices 9–16 whisper to the Market if you hold your breath near a ledger.
- Gene 22 politely refuses to appear on Tuesdays unless bribed with stationery.
- Three matching cells in one row entitle the bearer to a small trumpet.
- Can my GENOME change?
- Only when your facts do.
- Does it affect betting?
- Market sentiments swell; the Department maintains neutrality.
- Should I lick it?
- No.
Method: Each fighter’s known qualities were marched in solemn order past a scribe of unfathomable patience, who rendered them to a 512‑degree seal. The seal answers only to itself and to Procedure.
Scope: All franchises. Captains are accountable for timely recounts of fingers and toes, and for ensuring no fighter arrives to inspection with a borrowed horoscope.
Observations: Some sigils hum. Others taste faintly of copper. A few refuse to be witnessed directly unless you stand at an angle and pretend you’re reading something else.
Public Access: The ledger will expose GENOMES in redacted form (leading hex only) to discourage recreational summoning. Full forms will be available to qualified clerks wearing the hat.
Ethical Review: The Committee on Helpful Questions has been dismissed early for asking them.
FOOTNOTE: The Department reminds citizens: if your favorite fighter’s GENOME begins to glow faintly during a bout, this is normal and indicates routine compliance with invisible bylaws. Do not lick the parchment.