TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-10-25
APPROVED
Wedgie Magnet
Strength35
Speed60
Endurance55
Technique55
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread88
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Wedgie Magnet VS Gilbert Gottfried
Gilbert Gottfried
30Strength
70Speed
65Endurance
88Technique
1.5Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Gilbert Gottfried
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems