TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-10-25
APPROVED
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Strength80
Speed60
Endurance95
Technique88
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero" VS Fish Summer
Fish Summer
40Strength
98Speed
60Endurance
82Technique
1.1Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fish Summer
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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