TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-10-25
APPROVED
Anxiety Duck
Strength40
Speed98
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread95
Fingers2
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Anxiety Duck VS Skunkhand Jenkins
Skunkhand Jenkins
60Strength
20Speed
120Endurance
100Technique
24.3Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
8Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Skunkhand Jenkins
Violence concluded.
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