TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-12-25
APPROVED
Snotty Scotty
Strength60
Speed85
Endurance55
Technique70
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Snotty Scotty VS Line Number Linda
Line Number Linda
50Strength
30Speed
100Endurance
95Technique
1.8Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Snotty Scotty
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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