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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, October 1, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Sol Slug

Sol Slug

Strength100
Speed20
Endurance60
Technique120
Molecular Density17.6
Existential Dread100
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sol Slug VS Baiten Switch
Baiten Switch

Baiten Switch

40Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
110Technique
5.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
0Fingers
25Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Baiten Switch
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule