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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-08-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, October 8, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Submitted for Approval

The Submitted for Approval

Strength70
Speed95
Endurance80
Technique88
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Submitted for Approval VS Teflon Moonbeam
Teflon Moonbeam

Teflon Moonbeam

80Strength
85Speed
81Endurance
88Technique
3.7Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Teflon Moonbeam
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule