TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-08-25
APPROVED
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Strength70
Speed80
Endurance90
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death" VS Self-Checkout Stan
Self-Checkout Stan
80Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
2.8Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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