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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-09-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, October 9, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Chris Kirkpatrick

Chris Kirkpatrick

Strength50
Speed75
Endurance65
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chris Kirkpatrick VS Line Number Linda
Line Number Linda

Line Number Linda

50Strength
30Speed
100Endurance
95Technique
1.8Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Chris Kirkpatrick
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule