TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-11-25
APPROVED
Professor Punches
Strength85
Speed82
Endurance89
Technique99
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread40
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Professor Punches VS Chairman Meow
Chairman Meow
85Strength
62Speed
84Endurance
69Technique
87.7Molecular Density
66Existential Dread
6Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Professor Punches
Violence concluded.
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