TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-11-25
APPROVED
Chairman Meow
Strength85
Speed62
Endurance84
Technique69
Molecular Density87.7
Existential Dread66
Fingers6
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chairman Meow VS Teflon Moonbeam
Teflon Moonbeam
81Strength
89Speed
84Endurance
90Technique
3.7Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Teflon Moonbeam
Violence concluded.
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