TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-13-25
APPROVED
Nextdoor Neighbor Ned
Strength75
Speed85
Endurance65
Technique75
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread38
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nextdoor Neighbor Ned VS Knockoff Kevin
Knockoff Kevin
76Strength
79Speed
70Endurance
75Technique
2.2Molecular Density
33Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Knockoff Kevin
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems