TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
Yogurt the Destroyer
Strength92
Speed48
Endurance95
Technique65
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Yogurt the Destroyer VS Probability Jane
Probability Jane
66Strength
76Speed
85Endurance
83Technique
1.0Molecular Density
61Existential Dread
5Fingers
15Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Probability Jane
Violence concluded.
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