TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
Neckbeard Nathan
Strength65
Speed60
Endurance85
Technique95
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread92
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Neckbeard Nathan VS Grammar Nazi Gertrude
Grammar Nazi Gertrude
57Strength
82Speed
78Endurance
101Technique
1.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Neckbeard Nathan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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