TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-17-25
APPROVED
Gilbert Gottfried
Strength30
Speed70
Endurance65
Technique88
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gilbert Gottfried VS Moth With a Knife
Moth With a Knife
18Strength
104Speed
47Endurance
76Technique
0.0Molecular Density
103Existential Dread
0Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Gilbert Gottfried
Violence concluded.
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