TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-17-25
APPROVED
Loading Screen Eternity
Strength60
Speed30
Endurance95
Technique88
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Loading Screen Eternity VS Snotty Scotty
Snotty Scotty
63Strength
88Speed
58Endurance
71Technique
1.8Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Snotty Scotty
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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