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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, October 17, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"

Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"

Strength50
Speed41
Endurance99
Technique98
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer" VS Line Number Linda
Line Number Linda

Line Number Linda

50Strength
30Speed
100Endurance
95Technique
1.8Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"
Violence concluded.
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