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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, October 17, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
JC Chasez

JC Chasez

Strength58
Speed82
Endurance72
Technique91
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
JC Chasez VS TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"

TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"

40Strength
98Speed
55Endurance
88Technique
0.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

JC Chasez
Violence concluded.
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