TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-23-25
APPROVED
Grout Goblin Gary
Strength74
Speed76
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density3.7
Existential Dread44
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Grout Goblin Gary VS Wet Sock Walking Willie
Wet Sock Walking Willie
64Strength
75Speed
80Endurance
71Technique
1.9Molecular Density
57Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Grout Goblin Gary
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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