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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, October 24, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Swisher Sweet

Swisher Sweet

Strength75
Speed75
Endurance75
Technique75
Molecular Density28.4
Existential Dread88
Fingers12
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Swisher Sweet VS Trash Expander
Trash Expander

Trash Expander

80Strength
120Speed
50Endurance
50Technique
72.9Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
13Fingers
14Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Swisher Sweet
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule