TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-24-25
APPROVED
Crouton Crusher
Strength82
Speed65
Endurance80
Technique83
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crouton Crusher VS Spreadsheet Specter
Spreadsheet Specter
50Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
110Technique
1.1Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Spreadsheet Specter
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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