TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-24-25
APPROVED
Empty Fridge at 2AM
Strength84
Speed67
Endurance74
Technique75
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread81
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Empty Fridge at 2AM VS Crying in Cars Caroline
Crying in Cars Caroline
70Strength
86Speed
62Endurance
83Technique
1.8Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Empty Fridge at 2AM
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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