TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-25-25
APPROVED
Dust Bunny Dominator
Strength90
Speed60
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dust Bunny Dominator VS Brisket Friendo
Brisket Friendo
85Strength
65Speed
80Endurance
75Technique
2.8Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dust Bunny Dominator
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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