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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, October 25, 2025 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Square Root

Square Root

Strength60
Speed83
Endurance64
Technique103
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread73
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Square Root VS Bigfoot Believer Brenda
Bigfoot Believer Brenda

Bigfoot Believer Brenda

90Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
4.2Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Square Root
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule