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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-03-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 3, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Chairman Meow

Chairman Meow

Strength85
Speed62
Endurance84
Technique69
Molecular Density87.7
Existential Dread66
Fingers6
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chairman Meow VS Babyface Guillotine
Babyface Guillotine

Babyface Guillotine

70Strength
82Speed
87Endurance
61Technique
73.5Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
9Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Babyface Guillotine
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule