TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-11-25
APPROVED
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread82
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die" VS Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
55Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
95Technique
1.6Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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