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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, November 11, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
404 Not Found

404 Not Found

Strength85
Speed95
Endurance65
Technique90
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers0
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
404 Not Found VS Polymer McGillicuddy
Polymer McGillicuddy

Polymer McGillicuddy

88Strength
75Speed
91Endurance
80Technique
4.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
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