TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-21-25
APPROVED
The Vorpal Avenger
Strength77
Speed68
Endurance79
Technique76
Molecular Density26.0
Existential Dread81
Fingers11
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Vorpal Avenger VS Captain Hindsight
Captain Hindsight
58Strength
92Speed
71Endurance
79Technique
1.1Molecular Density
84Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Vorpal Avenger
Violence concluded.
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