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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-21-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, November 21, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Grollis Zephyr

Grollis Zephyr

Strength75
Speed90
Endurance65
Technique88
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread70
Fingers14
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Grollis Zephyr VS Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"
Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"

Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"

70Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
92Technique
2.4Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule